We are all familiar with the idea of forgiveness. The above definition is probably nothing new to you. Until, that is, you turn it around and apply it to yourself. You see, recently, I've been struggling with forgiving myself. I make mistakes all the time, and normally it's no big deal. The other day, however, I did something stupid. Embarrassing. Regretful. And even though the people involved were quick to tell me I was forgiven and it was no big deal, I haven't been able to really let it go. I honestly think it's sometimes easier to forgive others than it is to forgive yourself. And the thing that sucks about that, is you have to deal with your own self-condemnation and guilt, which is tenfold what others can evoke from you. So, I'm on a mission to forgive myself.
Look at the deffinition above and plug yourself in there. Stop feeling anger toward yourself when you've done something wrong; Stop blaming yourself. And sure, it's important to care about it when you mess up, but once you've received the forgiveness of those involved, you have to forgive yourself and let it go. I struggle with beating myself up over little things, and it's so unhealthy. These types of behaviors only turn you into a bitter, depressed person. And frankly, failing to forgive yourself turns you into someone others don't want to be around. No one enjoys the presence of a self-destructive, negative person. If you're constantly saying things like "I'm such a screw-up. I shouldn't have done that. This is so embarrassing!" people are going to get sick of you. Others enjoy confidence. So don't dwell on things from the past; you can't change them now. The only thing you can do is ask for forgiveness, forgive yourself, and move on, showing others how strong and resilient you are. And I say all these things to myself, cause I need to learn how to move on. Luckily, I have people around me who love me and are quick to forgive and comfort.
And mistakes are usually not a big deal! The great thing about mistakes is that you can learn from them. I have learned many valuable lessons about how to handle myself from mistakes I've made. If you never make a mistake, you'll never grow. So don't beat yourself up over making a mistake, 'cause now you are stronger and wiser for it. And you're pretty awesome, so don't let that insecure little kid inside of you tell you differently ;) The moment you stop feeling anger toward yourself is the moment you're able to learn and move on. And you'll likely find that you were the only one judging and blaming yourself all along.
Forgive yourself and forget the crime, but never forget the lesson.
