Well, well, well. Look where we are. Not too far off from where we were a year and two months ago when I last wrote here.
I'm revisiting the old blog because I have thoughts to share but I don't know where to put them. I guess my journal would be a good place, but I haven't actually journaled in a long time, and I'm already in front of a computer, so here goes.
Advice to girls looking to date:
If you want a boy who will dance with you, do not date a boy who does not like to dance. Do not ask and ask and ask said boy to dance with you. Rather, dump that poor boy and find a boy who will dance with you if it's really that important to you.
If you want a boy who will be a strong, godly leader in the relationship, find a strong godly guy. Do not date a mediocre, poor-faithed boy and demand that he step it up. Do not let him tell you that he just needs time and the right circumstances to lead you. Ditch his sorry ass and get a man who is so in love with Jesus that he can't help but be a godly leader in your relationship. (Of course, this also requires you to be equally in love with Jesus, so get on that.)
If you want a boy who will pursue you, do not date a boy who always leaves you to take initiative. Do not urge him to pursue you and tell him of your desires to be chased. Let a real man pursue you and chase you without you having to make those desires known. Because if you have to drop hints at your desire to be pursued, then - NEWS FLASH - you're the one who's actually doing the pursuing.
Also - if you want to be pursued, don't make the first move. And the second move. And the third move. And the first "I love you." And the fourth move. And every fucking initiative move throughout the whole draining relationship. Do not make all of these first moves and then expect him to show some initiative later on. It won't happen. And he'll only resent you for having these "unrealistic expectations" and you'll end up apologizing.
Do not date the boy who is not the man you want and ask him to change. He will not change. He will not budge. He will not try to improve, no matter how rational your requests are. You cannot rely on the hope of improvement. Hold out for the man who already lives up to your expectations, and not the man who makes empty promises of one day trying to meet them.
And DO NOT let a boy who will not dance with you, is not a godly leader, does not pursue you, and refuses to change tell you that your standards are too high. HIS MOTIVATION IS JUST TOO FUCKING LOW. Do not stoop to his level just because he does not have high enough standards for himself. DO NOT let him tell you that you are the problem because you want "some idealized fantasy" when he just wants "something real." He does not want something real; HE WANTS SOMETHING EASY. And you deserve more than easy.
Yes, you also need to live up to the standards that you expect in a mate, but that does not mean that you lower your expectations to match your worst self. Set high standards for yourself and your future partner, and do not budge on either. Pursue those expectations you have set for yourself, and you will find the people who also have high standards for themselves, and - shocker! - they will be striving for the goals you have set for your mate. And together you will be able to reach for and push the other toward those goals and expectations you have set for yourselves and each other.
THAT is beautiful. THAT is love. Don't let anyone tell you that just because you want to be danced and romanced that what you long for is an unattainable fantasy.
It's out there. Not that you should go out seeking it, but just work on yourself and wait for someone who is also working on himself and whose standards for himself are beyond the standards you have for him.
Remember that, girls looking to date...
Remember that, single girl trying to figure out what singlehood looks like in the 21st century...
Remember that, Lauren.
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